Some Can't. But Some Try.

I'm in a position that allows me to work with young adults. I've been the listening ear to many of there life troubles but the conversation  with which I'm going to speak on today is one that has a pretty deep hurt and pain to it. I've lived a very different life from most, with a lot of tragedy and pain in my childhood years, young adult years, up until now. The young lady I was speaking with is still in her teenage years but she's experienced some things in her life that not many young children have had too. Now let me be clear this young woman did nothing to cause her circumstances to be as they are but it was in God's plan, his will. But anyways lately she's been feeling used by her "friends and family" and is frustrated by it. Her issue to me is she's still trying to find true friends, an at her age it's normal to still feel the people around you help define your level of esteem, acceptance and all that. As I was listening to her I was brought back to how I was when I was her age. I used to be overly nice, a self sacrificing people pleaser. (In the words of one of my bestfriend "that girl doesn't exist anymore I killed her", just playing I'm still nice just not that much of a people pleaser or self sacrifing). But back to the conversation I was having with this girl, she's becoming more and more angered by the misusing of her time and love. I don't know why but I heard more of "I just don't want to be alone" in what she was saying then what she actually was saying. After listening to her I started off by saying "I hate to tell you this but........"

I've just started to realize, and I've said it before perhaps in a previous blog I find it hard to personally relate to people because most people I'm in contact with on a daily basis have no depth. They've live through I screwed up, made my own ant infested bed now I have to lie in it life. God willed situations are different, they're uncontrollable, almost life ruining, breathtaking, heart breaking and glory defining. But I had to explain to her that sadly there's a possibility that as you grow up you're going to find it harder and harder to relate to people your age.

1. Because most teenagers her age are living with at least one parent, they have that parental security and support.

2. They won't be able to relate the way with which you would like, especially when they start asking questions that to them should be easy to answer. But to you conjure up deep rooted hatred and anxiety making you defensive.

3. They won't give you the reaction you want, and may offend you but not purposefully, it's not their fault they just can't go that deep with you when they themselves are as deep as a kiddy pool in the desert. 

It's sad but true, I don't want to see anyone turn bitter,especially at an early age and the girls a sweetheart but I had I tell her the truth. Some people are not going to be able to understand you, but that's not to say that you don't get to secure yourself off without ever giving them a chance to try.