Pretty Hurts

Let's be honest, not everyone is extremely attractive, to each it's own but some men and women are gorgeous. Truth be told I believe self esteem is built from within one's self not by the acceptance of others. But today I'll be discussing how being pretty sucks. 

For those of you who fall into the bornbeautifulIwokeuplikethis#flawless category, good for you, but it sucks sometimes doesn't it?

I was talking with a friend who falls into this said category and after listening I summed up all she had said in one response. "I hate to say this, but that's the cost of being pretty." Her response was "I really does, it sucks." This friends not only pretty, but she has a very extroverted, cheerful, peppy personality to add to her beauty. But if it's the beauty that people see first and they struggle to get past that, what's the point? It's a struggle for my friend to date because most men are attracted to her based solely on her physical and ignore her personality, or when she does dive into a relationship she finds that the men she's with become infatuated with her and controlling of her because of the fear of her leaving them. She described it saying that in these men's minds she's going to always' be able to do better than them and the anxiety of losing her to other men leads them to become a bit crazy. While I would said that if a man is that fearful of losing you, he's insecure anyway, but I can't, because I haven't really had that issue. 

Aside from relationship struggles, theres the personal issue of my friend not being able to be herself because of her beauty. When she said this I was confused? But she explained to me that at times she's had to take a step down from being herself, for example not being as peppy to remove attention that she didn't want from people including women who for some reason(insecurity) didn't like her because of her beauty and personality. This friend has spoken to me about her life experiences and she's had a hard life and survived it all, but most people wouldn't even know that because they're basing there view of her on her beauty versus getting to know her. I used to think like those same people when I was younger, "If you're pretty you have it all." But in all actuality its just another side of the coin with it's own set of issues, it's own set of struggles. 

What it boils down to is acceptance. Why should people have to dilute themselves to accommodate others, or change who they are because they're fighting for the same acceptance that the introverted depressed person is? It's a surprising view and one that isn't talked about enough. 

Be blessed.