Dear Society

Dear Society,

Thanks for portraying a life that only 1% can have

Making the dream seem easy to achieve and yet making it impossible to rise above my failures

Thanks for expecting me to be the "normal" that I will never fit into

Thanks for speaking for me

The voice I have is subject to be muted and edited for societies sake

You're fake

Pawning off smiles and handshakes when you're crossing the fingers behind your back on the other hand and planning your wars

Telling me it was okay to embark on following my own way but telling me I was at fault because I couldn't find an occupational pathway financially supportive enough

But you want me to be tough 

Carry the weight of the worlds issues

I would like to unsubscribe 

While you create lies to justify your imperfections 

You're chipping away at my foundation and yours grows stronger

Can't let it

Won't let it

How can I not be consumed when you're embezzling the funds- -the people 

Where is the church, where are his true people?

Disguised, misinformed, and stagnated 

Oh but the likable, the pretty, the dumb flourish 

They win

They always' win

What's fair, you get to decide

Truth is beaten, bloody

And fake is hoisted up on the shoulders, paraded around, honored

Shallow enough yet?

Skin deep dedications will began to sag and wrinkle eventually 

With a lot of unsaid this is my thank you

PSA: Letter To You Sir

Dear Douchebag at Walmart that forcefully shouted out the word NIGGER at checkout twelve this morning,

I understand that you were mad. I understand that you were frustrated. But you don't say that in public. You don't say that in secret, you just don't say that period. With the increasing racial injustices culminating to the surface we don't live in a time where shouting out the word NIGGER is okay. I have anger issues, I get anger, but acting out in ignorance is not what you should do to express it. This isn't about the word and meaning for me as much as it is about humanity's lies of being of a higher intelligence when I'm seeing such uncontrollable people walk about saying ignorant things, killing people when ever they want, and raising an entitled generation of ungrateful little beings. As pessimistic as I can be I don't see this world with rose colored glasses, it's getting farther away from perfect, closer to chaos, and the cloud of doom is getting heavier and heavier. Is it the unlearned simple lesson of thinking before you speak the culprit? I don't know, but sometimes people really need to learn how to just shut up, that your opinion is worthless and that silence is its own language. I didn't stay silent when the man shouted out what he did, but he did quickly walk way embarrassed when he saw me glaring at him. "I understand that he's ignorant." I told the Walmart workers who he had been venting too. The man's situation was something about he lightly tapped someone's car or something and the guy called him a name that was derogatory as well but, BUT, does that give him the right to rave loudly in a public place and yell out NIGGER? Regardless leave your drama for home, and act accordingly in public, preferably like you're not an ignorant douchebag as I perceived you to be. Now this man maybe be a church goer, a good person on any given day. He may be a doctor, lawyer, who knows, but in that five minute rant that ended in the word NIGGER being shouted you were none of those things sir. You weren't a loving husband, a caring father, a big brother, but you were in your truest form, an ignorant human being that needs to be taught how to correctly conduct yourself in public and learn to just shut up. 

Bottoms Up

Bottom seems so low

Bottom personifies an ending

Or does it?

Does it end here?

Or does the well have a way up

An out, a light in a well is a way out

An out, a light in a well is a way out of the bottom

An out, a light in a well is a way out of the bottom, out of the dirty hands of memories that drain your soul, and take root

An out, a light in a well is a way out of the bottom, out of the dirty hands of memories that drain your soul, and take root, it's a clean hand that remains waiting alongside hope and faith

An out, a light in a well is a way out of the bottom, out of the dirty hands of memories that drain your soul, and take root, it's a clean hand that remains waiting alongside hope and faith, where bottom is, is exactly where we need to be because there is an out, a light in a well is a way out of the bottom, out of the dirty hands of memories that drain your soul, and take root, it's a clean hand that remains waiting alongside hope and faith to pull you up, clean you and set you to run

Just don't take the out for granted because you may not get another one

Summer Time

SUMMER IS HERE EVERYONE!!!!
I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A TEST SUMMER IS HERE!!!!

Yes summer is here, time for parents to take back looking after there children that they've pawned off on the school system for the last ten to twelve months. Yeah little Jane and Johnny are all yours again parents, what are you going to do with them? Well depending on what type of parents you are there are quite a few options.



Option 1: Day Camp
Funny enough my dad used to run my local counties day camp, my brothers went, I did not. Day camp is fun. Your kids can stay active, meet new friends. However I don't know if all day camps feed your children so may still have to send a lunch with them, but then again day camp isn't as costly as my next option.

Option 2: Sports Training Camp
So recently I've learned more about children being sent off to sports training camps for basketball, football, and others. I think that's great, the kids are active, they're staying prepare for upcoming seasons in there specific sports, and they're gaining an edge. Major colleges are holding these weekly camps and it's great, but costly.

Option 3: FEAR(ForgetEverythingAndRun)Let them fend for themselves   Independent Study
So independent study is something that parents who have children that are old enough to look after themselves. Usually these parents give there kids the money and hope for the best. With independent study children can learn a broad spectrum of things, like swearing, sex, theft, evading arrest, how long candy will keep you feeling full. But hey, you're an independent learner kid, man up, woman up. Join in with some friends, form a gang group patrol accost the neighborhood, be one with nature.

Bonus Option 4: DON'T HAVE KIDS!
Parents around the world are cracking under the pressure of having to be more involved with there children on a daily basis. I've been in the middle of children and parent melt downs recently and I feel sorry for both the children and the parents. But during those seven to eight hours a day where parents are at work, children are at school, those of you who are of appropriate age they don't have to deal with one another. And that's sad, because that's how the world has made it to be. While parents have to work long hours to afford and provide for there families they're having to miss out on spending quality time with there children, knowing who they are. I work in an environment with suburban raised children who are provided with the best of things, but I never see them with there parents. I've said it before and I'll say it again, being a parent is more than just providing, it's way more, and if you can't provide the MORE, DON'T HAVE KIDS!


I'm just being funny, I hope everyone has great summer, be safe enjoy it.

A Month To Remember

Not so much a moment to remember for me
Because I never forget
But let's exhibit our worlds
A mingling of words, a misuse of circumstances
It's where our paths met
And where we stand at
But frequently pass it
It's a misguided ploy to accomplish painstaking joy
But no one wants joy that way
What's the point of joy without pain?
Would you even know it without pain?
No
But want it so badly, say you need it
Would you give anything for it, some have, will, won't
But still taking care of hearts that melt like chocolate in pockets and hands
Will it matter in the long run?
Will it make a difference?
No, probably not
For small moments we stand for something because it hot, it popular, but not because we really feel it
We stand for gimmicks and characters not truth
We stand for all world and expect the world to treat us fairly
Well the world isn't fair
The world isn't nice
It's the world and it is a character itself, an entity that is ruled by higher forces than what we can ever imagine
But we think we have the power, we have the truth
And we don't
We don't humble ourselves enough to be honest
We don't seek learning like a baby does, trying things over and and over, becoming frustrated seeking love from our mothers and fathers, reassurance and then trying what we failed over again. . . .to fail. . . again
What's the difference between that baby we were and the adult we are today?
Not much, we just have more constructive ways to propel our emotions, better ways of expression of ourselves than babbles and cries, whines and tantrums
Not much is different as we grow up, the rollercoaster we are birthed onto is never at a straight and narrow path for long and we either have an up hill glide or an down hill fall but one thing is for sure
it will be a month to remember

New Generation

         Get ready for the next generation to be extremely divided. This is strictly my opinion, the current upcoming generation is either going to be extremely great or extremely horrible, their is no room for the gray. Are parents solely to blame for the snowball effect of the current generation? I don't know? Perhaps? But more and more parents are younger, still children themselves, before being forced into growing up and relying more heavily on there parents, the childs grandparents to "help" them raise there own children. More and more I'm seeing grandparents become parents again, to there grandchildren, weighed down with regrets and reminders of how they failed to raise their son or daughter well enough. That guilt creates two scenarios, either they are very relaxed in there raising of their grandchildren or very strict. I don't know whether the fear of failing again in raising a child breeds that or not? 

        The current generation seems to be very informed with pointless stuff such as Instagram, and Twitter, and Facebook, but can't remember the thirty minute lesson in algebra class. Situations such as watching an eight year old not be able to tie his shoes and his mother having to do it for him, and watching children mimic what they saw on TV instead of the parent or guardian the are being raised by, leads me to question whether it's just a priority issue on the side of the parent or guardian. 

        I know "mothers" that wear the title of "mother" and have relinquished the characteristics of the term "mother" completely. Her priorities revolve around when her mother, the child's grandmother, can come and pick up the grandchild so she, the "mother" can go party. Keep in mind this "mother" is twenty, still a child herself, having had her child at fifteen. To me her priorities are skewed, having a child doesn't make you a mother, but the investing of you love does, not love of convenience but love of sacrifice. 

        Sacrificing, a parent to me is someone who loves there children with sacrifice. At the elementary stages children go to school and are yearning to be one thing, liked. It's simple to want to be liked but if a parent doesn't nature that child and help them understand that there's more to the world than to just be liked, then what happens? Could that child grow to become a self sacrificing people pleaser, allowing people to walk on them? But some younger parents of the current generation want to still have there separate lives while still being a parent. I don't know if that thinking can exist in a healthy way? Not for this generation anyway. 

       Currently I am not a parent, I somewhat question if I could be one currently with all that I see going on in the world. But I see the current generation of children becoming more unintelligent, sedentary, and content. Schools are doing away with actual books, the new make of digital books being sent directly to your tablet, smartphone or whatever has taken over. But the best thing you can ever give a child is a library card. Imagination is something that can take you places even when you don't have money, and books harness that. Summer time was my time to be taken to the library to pick out books. At the time I was a child and didn't really like reading, mostly because I didn't find the library selection interesting, so what did I do about that? You guessed it write? Pun intended. I began to write, creating my own stories, using my imagination. If my parents hadn't made the accessibility of books a priority for me I don't know where I would be.

        Being that my father was a PE teacher, being outdoors and moving was a part of my upbringing as well. My father used to take me on bike rides and on tours of museums, we would walk or ride for hours. Now my want to do those things is still in me, to explore different things and also to get off my butt and move. The major health institutes have estimated that if the slope of children who are fed poor diets high in fats and live sedentary lifestyles keeps increasing the majority of the population of children will be diabetic. More specifically Type 2 diabetics. I understand what it's like to be the fat kid, I also know what it's like to be the kid who used to be fat, so it comes at no surprise that this current generation is at such a risk. However, parents now have to work full time jobs, often times may find it hard to cook a meal, so fast food it is. 

        Back to the eight year old boy who can't tie his shoes and his mother does it for him. On both sides of this situation I see content, the boy is content with not having to learn to tie his shoes, and his mother is content with tying his shoes. But here's the thing about being  content, while its comfortable it causes stagnation. Maybe as a parent there's a want to love your child, and maybe you can love them so much that its harmful. Personally I know the feeling of growing up without parents. There's a forced independence you acquire that makes you grow up and mature faster. For the child who is old enough to tie his shoes but doesn't know how to because his mothers has always' done it that could make him more than your typical momma's boy. It could make him dependent upon other people in an independent, out for themselves world. This generation is destiny for something, but I don't know whether it's greatness or not so much, that is yet to be determined. 

Beyoncé To Kanye

So wonderful

Positive vibes

Love is a wonderful thing

But I'm all about hair 

All about looks

But being this pretty hurts

But let me count down

Your my destiny child

But I don't think your ready

But Jesus walks

This is my graduation

A direct representation of 

When it all burns down

But I'll spit it through the wire 

Fire and brimstone 

But I'll forever be known as a college dropout

Ageless Wisdom

The saying goes that with age comes wisdom.
However I beg to differ.
Age is a number, a simple number that continues going up, but the art of learning is something that I feel has to be crafted and honed nowadays. While today with the era of cellphones, Google, and the direct access we have to answers when we have a question looks great, what I see is a failure in us to realize that not all answers in the world or on the web are true or complete. For myself I was raised in a home where there were books, dictionary's, thesaurus  and a freedom to read what I wanted and write what I wanted. While I may have not gotten the $10 sneaker looking slippers from Walmart when I was 10, I had the freedom to sing as loud, and write whatever I wanted without censorship.  But today I was thinking about how on many of the older adults I'm around are stuck in there twenties, and truly believing that what they read on the Internet and in the world is truth. They're older than me but they lack the common sense enough to understand aspects of life that they should have lived by now and perfected. But maybe I'm wrong?
For the younger people in their early twenties, finding "friends" is still an important thing, but finding "friends" for them means partying while in a drunken state and hooking up but behind these "friends" back you talk badly about them. What kind of new age "friendship" is this? Oh it's the kind that not real, is an on and off again thing. (Applause) Good for you and your false "friendships" that are a waste of time and cause you to miss really good people that will add to your life instead of cause it trouble. I'm thankful I have the friends I do, and thankfully I didn't have to continue on the long journey of searching for friends in my twenties, but it's not so easy now. With all the technology would it be so easy to hook up and go party? If grouping your friends in a text message to meet at the "spot" to party wasn't so easy would this help? On the cellphone stuff, auto correct has taken a toll on all of us, but for people that can't spell very well or read very well is that an hinderance more than a help? Has teaching to a test while in school created this machine of imbeciles or has the households of today that have more computers and technology in them than books bring the downfall closer? I wonder a bit, because more and more I'm seeing older adults and younger adults act the same, immature, unguided and lost, coming to me for advice because they can't figure out their own lives. It's not enough to have superficial worldly wisdom, because being able to but on your resumé that your text message word per minute count is 100 wpm with auto correct may soon be a requirement on a job application, and that would be a great thing to some, but to me it seems so sad. Sad that people will learn how to create a fake Facebook profile to be vindictive to there ex and plot and plan for there downfall, but not spend any time researching for there future, things like colleges, housing, how to live healthy. It's a time now where wisdom is scarce and something to be worked for, a skill to be honed, but not many people are wanting too. I guess since we want immediate gratification and wisdom is a skill that requires patience and years and years of us having to adapt and change, and more importantly, and mostly importantly a willingness. Wisdom will still go unwanted, and often misused, and I don't know if it will ever be about something so simple as age again.

Guilt Free

If judging me is what makes you free then do it

But if its shackling you 

Don't do it

Take your eyes off of me so you can breath, relax and begin your own journey

I'm not going to fight you anymore, rather I'll stand by and wait for you to realize the worth of what you're fighting for 

The weight of a punch and how exhausting it can be to fight against air

It's all around, it's suffocating and it never gets tired

Aren't you tired?
Complaining about how worn out you are

But you're unemployed so I don't understand how sleeping in and not working and being financially supported by your mother can cause you to be tired?

Hm

You're still caught up on me

And the guilt I feel for that is unreal because I don't think I'm to blame mind wise but heart wise I know I carried on too long not feeling the same but acting like I did

I acted like I still loved you because I knew that I could make it alone but you. . . I knew I was all you had, how fixated you were on me, how much you loved me

So I had to cut it off, and leave no way for us to be friends because I didn't t want to confuse you or lead you on in any matter I did all I did for you and, stuff somehow- - - it backfired, blew up in my face 

And I'm in the wrong?

How?

You convinced my friends, family, and everyone that I made our relationship unbearable 

After all I had invested, your crazy is shielded by a fake facade of well put together, gentlemen like actions but not it's true

Not true 

To all who believe in your award winning portrayal and are now against me I forgive you 

I had to forgive myself first because I allowed him to change me, push away my family and friends, became who I thought he wanted, void of myself and what little worth I held to begin with

So if judging me is what makes you free then do it

But if its shackling you 

Don't do it

Take your eyes off of me so you can breath, relax and begin your own journey

I'm not going to fight you anymore, rather I'll stand by and wait for you to realize the worth of what you're fighting for 

Well Earned

        The few years of life that I've lived in the workforce have taught me a couple things. 

One, those who work hard succeed. Two, those who know the right people get ahead quicker and fail miserably at their jobs but because of who they know they're never punished but rewarded and promoted. I've ventured through the public school system and like most young adults of my generation it failed me. Not because of the educators but the administrators. The decision makers who more often than not haven't set foot in a classroom in over a decade, but some how make all decisions concerning the curriculum that should be implemented into today's schools. Yes making all children able to bubble in a scantron sheet is more important than how to count back change. I've definitely ran into more situations requiring me to balance a budget than how to bubble in my name. 

Getting away from the school system and their hierarchy of close minded socially and economically inept people that pass judgement on the front line men aka educators. Being in the workforce since I was fourteen or fifteen I've matured a lot. I've started at the bottom and been thrown back down, I've rose up but never enough for my liking. Along my journey I've met some good people but I've come to understand that one, brown nosing gets you farther. Two, most people in superior positions have no clue what they're doing, are lazy but will magically be promoted. Think about it, can you recall bosses you've had that fit this scenario? 

Think about it, I'll wait. ....................

        Yes, Natalie who was your first boss spent more time in the office sitting on her phone and popping whatever pills she's on rather than help you with work. But some how when supervisors visit Natalie's front and center shinning and grinning playing the part of a team player when she's a lazy, ill supervising dictator at heart. People like Natalie make me mad but I respect them because they figured it out before I did. While I'm over here doing the right things working hard they're reaping my sowing. But I don't think people like Natalie have lasting power. A brown nose with no brains? Natalie's bound to make a costly mistake that her brown nose can't get herself out of. And the minons that work under her will only take so much before they quit or complain and proceed with legal processes against her and the company. 

Watered Down

Shut up dread in my head

Lie instead

Show the meadows and rainbows 

Not the crooks and murders

Show the sunshine and clouds 

Not the rains and lightening 

Because showing the truth is hard

So keep it light please

They want people like me to shut up and be silenced

The news shows what's trending and you're a fool if you buy it

There splitting hairs but you don't care 

The news portrays a good dream but it's really a nightmare

I'm not scared but it's all written it's all there

They're not going to like you but hate you, because you go against what they believe

Because honestly you don't have to be great to achieve, at least not anymore 

Look at music and you'll find that current talents are by far mediocre 

Now a days walking down the street is a crime but keep protesting and parading for your rights 

Stay on the never going to win it fight

Truthfully I didn't see the answers clearly as I do right now 

The worst thing, as important as it is to Love

Forgotten and fabricated by most what we think is Love happens on the fourteenth of February, or on certain timeline post

Stop posting that crap please, you're a joke

Humanities view of love is so minute

It's true, true Love is written in the book

It's vividly describe as unconditional, non boastful, and never ending

But we put a price on it, boast about it and cut it off

This worlds foundation is crumbling, it's almost afloat 

Since most don't realize it by choice because there "love" is what matters the most 

Stupid

Close minded 

Not to mention blinded

While the truth floats off you wave goodbye to it while you stand on sand that's quick to change and be blown away

Stand on something worthy

Honest 

Love

Stand on that raw emotion of Love

The Love the one the guy who came down forty some generations talked about

The Love that built this world 

Stand on that instead of some over processed garbage that we imagine for ourselves 

Stand