No Ones Invincible Enough For God

People behaving badly, insanely badly, like you have to ask around to see if you're possibly getting punk'd bad.

      Recently I was eating out and watched a man head to the front counter with his food, place the tray down and remove his food from his plate, placing it on the counter, Saying it was cold, and he wanted new food. Now this guy was tall, tattooed, Mr. I think I'm macho nacho, when in all actuality your mucho crazo, stupid, douchebago, just to name a couple of names. I watched the situation unfold in awe, and unbelief. First I thought, is he for real? Second, is he for real, for real? And third, this can not be for real? How can a grown man, an ad- dult act in such a childish manner over fast food that is mediocre at best and that's being nice. I expect such acts to come from children, not adults. But it's a constant thing I  think, if I get in my feelings enough and yell and scream mommy will come and give me what I want. Or is it the I think I'm invincible so I can do, say, and act how I want to without fear of repercussions. Here's another instance of people behaving badly, a woman throwing her food back at a fast food worker because it was cold. First of all what she did was assault, second of all . . . . . .it's fast-food. If cold fries causes you to assault someone I would hate to see how you act in more serious situations. Where are you coming from people where you think you can just get off with mistreating, belittling, assaulting, and demeaning others? Are you thinking in your little shallow kiddy pool mind that you won't have to pay for your actions? Let me allow you to understand something, and take note. . . . you will, eventually. If God allowed Job to be messed with by Satan himself, and Job did nothing, but be a stand up man of God, if God sent himself down 40 some generations with a  destiny to die, and he never sinned, then you for surely will pay, and reap it, I promise, because not one of us on this earth can stand toe to toe with God and be invincible, we're talking about the man who creates us and ends us. HELLO

So the next you're mad because McDonalds gave you cold fries or you had to wait on your food for a long time think about this. What if my wait saved me from the 10 car pile up that happened on the highway I would have been on if I had just gotten my food right away. And honestly fast food is not going to be 5 star etiquette, or product, it's frozen garage you could have gone to the frozen food isle of the grocery store and purchased. There's no need to over react over something so petty, evaluate the situation and give the response accordingly, unless you like to be considered a stupid idiot by onlookers or have your food tampered with (it happens y'all), just be nice, and keep it moving. 


Check out my fan fiction post going on at http://ciderasstories.blogspot.com

What Do I Have To Show For It

First allow me to start off with this, everyone has opportunities in life, some just have the life beat out of them so much by life that they settle, some have been raked across the coals so much that they don't have anything left, some are too caught up in the false reality they see on tv, and some are just too lazy.  Now not everyone has the same opportunities but everyone has opportunities, speaking with a man in his late 20's I discussed with him his life a bit. I've known the young man for a year and watched him remain in the same position of working a minimum wage job, being bullied by his baby momma, mother in-law, and support his kids. A year ago the young man was deep into alcoholism, but of course he saw it as no big deal since he only did it on the weekend. Yeah that's alright, nothing against having a break and taking back a few, but it's coming through your pores bro and it's clear from your bloodshot eyes that you're still heavily intoxicated. There were many days I thanked God he had no vehicle when I saw him drunk, things could have gotten real serious then. But back to the young man today, he's cut way back on the drinking, but he's still living the same life as he was last year. I can't stand it when people accept there existence on earth as enough. I didn't grow up with major motivation or support, but somehow I guess I figured that I would have to motivate myself. 

The young man and I started to talk and I began to ask him about what he was planning to do with his life? I will not lie, what I said may sound harsh, but nobody else is asking him these questions, no one else gives a crap about this young man, they would much rather be acceptant of his stationary existence in life. One of my church brothers met this young man, and when I see him he's asked about him on many occasions, and what do I have to say? I say "He's still doing the same old thing." It's not to say he has no way to do better, because he's intelligent, he just does dumb stuff. We discussed school, and his claim was he had tried it and didn't like his classes and was waiting to decide what he wanted to do. Okay, so in the mean time why not go learn a trade for something, get a certification and start working a real job? The financial aid assistance program helps so many people, it's great, and he can get help, but he'd rather sulk in his depression. Throughout our conversation the young man kept saying I'm just trying to take care of my kids, okay good. I love a father whose willing to take care of his children, but I posed a question to him- - - - - -what if something happens to you? He didn't have an answer to that, but tears filled his eyes. The next answer I received from him was, they would be taken care of, me being around really doesn't seem to matter to anyone. 

(Pause) Yeah, the truth comes out. Remember when I said some just have the life beat out of them so much by life that they settle, some have been raked across the coals so much that they don't have anything left. That's where this young mans situation is at, and unfortunately he's not surrounded by many people who are going to speak up about how he's living(Play)

BUT I WILL. I can't sit by and watch someone who has the potential to be great lay by the river that can heal them and be too comsumed by depression to roll themselves in. I hope you can swim dude because I'm pushing you, pulling you kicking and screaming into this river. I wasn't asking him to jump up to it today but I did push the issue of looking into going back to school, he's almost thirty, and the time we have left on this earth is not as long as we suspect it, to still be deciding on what we want in life. And besides what we want sometimes isn't what we need. Most people are in a job that they despise so they can afford to live comfortably, or have a stable income, or to support what they real would rather be doing not many people love what they do, jobs like that take time(hence the reason I'm going back to school). The discussion was about and hour long, but at the end I asked him with the life he was living currently what did he have to show for it? His response was a shrug. He's been broken, his past is horrible to say the least, but I'm beginning to realize that brokenness is part involuntary and part acceptance. I will a accept being broken, but I don't have to accept staying that way.

Some Can't. But Some Try.

I'm in a position that allows me to work with young adults. I've been the listening ear to many of there life troubles but the conversation  with which I'm going to speak on today is one that has a pretty deep hurt and pain to it. I've lived a very different life from most, with a lot of tragedy and pain in my childhood years, young adult years, up until now. The young lady I was speaking with is still in her teenage years but she's experienced some things in her life that not many young children have had too. Now let me be clear this young woman did nothing to cause her circumstances to be as they are but it was in God's plan, his will. But anyways lately she's been feeling used by her "friends and family" and is frustrated by it. Her issue to me is she's still trying to find true friends, an at her age it's normal to still feel the people around you help define your level of esteem, acceptance and all that. As I was listening to her I was brought back to how I was when I was her age. I used to be overly nice, a self sacrificing people pleaser. (In the words of one of my bestfriend "that girl doesn't exist anymore I killed her", just playing I'm still nice just not that much of a people pleaser or self sacrifing). But back to the conversation I was having with this girl, she's becoming more and more angered by the misusing of her time and love. I don't know why but I heard more of "I just don't want to be alone" in what she was saying then what she actually was saying. After listening to her I started off by saying "I hate to tell you this but........"

I've just started to realize, and I've said it before perhaps in a previous blog I find it hard to personally relate to people because most people I'm in contact with on a daily basis have no depth. They've live through I screwed up, made my own ant infested bed now I have to lie in it life. God willed situations are different, they're uncontrollable, almost life ruining, breathtaking, heart breaking and glory defining. But I had to explain to her that sadly there's a possibility that as you grow up you're going to find it harder and harder to relate to people your age.

1. Because most teenagers her age are living with at least one parent, they have that parental security and support.

2. They won't be able to relate the way with which you would like, especially when they start asking questions that to them should be easy to answer. But to you conjure up deep rooted hatred and anxiety making you defensive.

3. They won't give you the reaction you want, and may offend you but not purposefully, it's not their fault they just can't go that deep with you when they themselves are as deep as a kiddy pool in the desert. 

It's sad but true, I don't want to see anyone turn bitter,especially at an early age and the girls a sweetheart but I had I tell her the truth. Some people are not going to be able to understand you, but that's not to say that you don't get to secure yourself off without ever giving them a chance to try. 

Beginning, Middle and End

We're born
We grow
We learn
We fail
We succeed
We grow
We learn
We fail
We struggle
We succeed
We win little
We lose lot's
We grow
We learn
We fail
We fail
We fail
We fail
We struggle
We struggle
We struggle
We grow
We settle
We succeed
We rise
We die
We rise
We rest
We find peace

Nawwwwwwwwwwww, uh uh

Sometimes Facebook is too much.
Sometimes people take too much of their business and put it up there.
But when people take other peoples business and put it on Facebook that's a bit insensitive and annoying to me.
I don't need people to put any info about my personal life on Facebook, if people gave a crap about what's going on  my my life they would text message or perhaps a call (not really, I hate talking on the phone). But I'm tired of people who feel like they are entitled to my life posting things about me or my family on Facebook pretending to deep, pretending to be ''reborn", PRETENDING. You are as deep as kiddy in the desert, save your sympathy, empathy, pretendathy(see what I did there, put pretend and sympathy together lol) for the people that still believe in your fake self. Yes I get that people can change, but no, not for the people I know, and I know these folks very well, YOU'RE FAKE! I'm just so appalled by how people can feel so deeply like it's there life, like they have to feel more feels than you, SOME OF Y'ALL NEED TO GET OFF THAT DRAKE MESS RIGHT NOW! How- -what - - -like you're so overwhelmed with emotions? Please stop, just stop pretending, and get your life together and leave mine off of Facebook, just stop.

Put honestly, I'm not even mad.

Trust

Believe that everyone has a story

That the journey of life is where God takes you through battles, wars,  and afflictions to bring you to who he wants you to become

At times it may seem like he wants you to become a bitter, angry person, but that is only a part of it

The road traveled by a person employed by God is not easy, and a lot of times there is no kind of financial reimbursement 

But in the end it's worth it

No his way is not understandable, at times it's completely screwed up to our human eyes, unfair, and it can lead you to believe that the God you serve really doesn't care

But he does, he promised he would never leave or forsake us

So when life is riddled with more trenches than valleys

And good days are few

Trust in Gods production of your story

And he'll bring you through 

Do You Want Chaos or Structure?

Seems like we can't figure out if we as people want structure or chaos. From the most simplistic of structures such as work place policies to more heavy issues such as murdering someone. Speed limit signs are in place so that there's a modicum of safety while we drive around 1000 ton vehicles that are really not as safe as we believe. Who obeys a speed limit sign? (Uh huh)

Not many, most push the limit 3-5 mph more than what is listed. So what if we removed speed limit signs? No one pays any attention to them anyway, let people make their own intelligent, scholar, future genius' (taste the sarcasm)of the world decisions on what speed they should go. 

Yes Suzy can choose to rev her car to 50 mph in a residential area and perhaps hit a child, post man, basically kill someone because it should be her choice right? This is the chaos that would happen, more accidents, more death, chaos. But we don't want to be controlled, bossed around, I should have freedom.

Hate to break it to you "freedom fighter" but  freedom without rules and regulations, some kind of structure is anarchy. And we all know how that show ended with Jack's killing everyone and riding his motorcycle into the front of a semi. (Son's of Anarchy reference lol)

I'm just saying the small amount of rules that we don't follow are not as small or irrelevant as we believe, they're important. And no matter how stupid or mundane we believe them to be they could progress to something horrible. So just try to follow da rules.(lol)

Whine Much

There's an epidemic y'all it's sweeping the nation. The epidemic of whining. I usually wake up each morning and start my routine but I was awoken by multiple text messages from a whiner. First of all everyone who knows me knows I'm the type of person to suck it up and soldier on sick, death in the family, cuts and bruises, sore and all. To be honest my body is riddled with pain constantly and I have my own personal issues but I soldier on. Now I will add that I know what you're saying "Not everyone can be like you" and blah blah blah, but I'm not asking that, what I'm asking is for people to stop whining. And if you are going to whine let the situation be one of involuntary cause, most whiners have voluntarily caused the situation they are whining about. Therefore if you brought it on yourself, shut up about and be big girls and big boys about it and don't whine to get sympathy, especially not from me. But back to the text message I received this morning, the person is legitimately ill and was whining about how they had no more days left at school to miss and they're so ill. Background on this person they're a bit dramatic and flighty so it's no surprise that they call me whining. What irritated me is that they woke me up for their whining drabble. What am I supposed to say? Mind you my direct reaction was "I DONT CARE" very insensitive I know, it won't be the first time I hear that about myself, but the school part and not having enough days to miss really got me. Why don't you have days left? Maybe it's because you decided to skip school could that be it (yup)? Or maybe you've accumulated so many tardies that they turned into absences (yup)? (On baby voice)Or maybe it's because you work long hours have to do homework and go to school full time and do laundry and-----"THAT'S WHAT BEING AN ADULT IS!"   

So moral of the story is I don't care about your whining when the situation you're whining about you caused and overlook your involvement in. Make better decisions and stop whining. 

P.s. I should have known it was a whining text message because the person never messages me that early unless they want something. Smh

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