Well Earned

        The few years of life that I've lived in the workforce have taught me a couple things. 

One, those who work hard succeed. Two, those who know the right people get ahead quicker and fail miserably at their jobs but because of who they know they're never punished but rewarded and promoted. I've ventured through the public school system and like most young adults of my generation it failed me. Not because of the educators but the administrators. The decision makers who more often than not haven't set foot in a classroom in over a decade, but some how make all decisions concerning the curriculum that should be implemented into today's schools. Yes making all children able to bubble in a scantron sheet is more important than how to count back change. I've definitely ran into more situations requiring me to balance a budget than how to bubble in my name. 

Getting away from the school system and their hierarchy of close minded socially and economically inept people that pass judgement on the front line men aka educators. Being in the workforce since I was fourteen or fifteen I've matured a lot. I've started at the bottom and been thrown back down, I've rose up but never enough for my liking. Along my journey I've met some good people but I've come to understand that one, brown nosing gets you farther. Two, most people in superior positions have no clue what they're doing, are lazy but will magically be promoted. Think about it, can you recall bosses you've had that fit this scenario? 

Think about it, I'll wait. ....................

        Yes, Natalie who was your first boss spent more time in the office sitting on her phone and popping whatever pills she's on rather than help you with work. But some how when supervisors visit Natalie's front and center shinning and grinning playing the part of a team player when she's a lazy, ill supervising dictator at heart. People like Natalie make me mad but I respect them because they figured it out before I did. While I'm over here doing the right things working hard they're reaping my sowing. But I don't think people like Natalie have lasting power. A brown nose with no brains? Natalie's bound to make a costly mistake that her brown nose can't get herself out of. And the minons that work under her will only take so much before they quit or complain and proceed with legal processes against her and the company. 

Watered Down

Shut up dread in my head

Lie instead

Show the meadows and rainbows 

Not the crooks and murders

Show the sunshine and clouds 

Not the rains and lightening 

Because showing the truth is hard

So keep it light please

They want people like me to shut up and be silenced

The news shows what's trending and you're a fool if you buy it

There splitting hairs but you don't care 

The news portrays a good dream but it's really a nightmare

I'm not scared but it's all written it's all there

They're not going to like you but hate you, because you go against what they believe

Because honestly you don't have to be great to achieve, at least not anymore 

Look at music and you'll find that current talents are by far mediocre 

Now a days walking down the street is a crime but keep protesting and parading for your rights 

Stay on the never going to win it fight

Truthfully I didn't see the answers clearly as I do right now 

The worst thing, as important as it is to Love

Forgotten and fabricated by most what we think is Love happens on the fourteenth of February, or on certain timeline post

Stop posting that crap please, you're a joke

Humanities view of love is so minute

It's true, true Love is written in the book

It's vividly describe as unconditional, non boastful, and never ending

But we put a price on it, boast about it and cut it off

This worlds foundation is crumbling, it's almost afloat 

Since most don't realize it by choice because there "love" is what matters the most 

Stupid

Close minded 

Not to mention blinded

While the truth floats off you wave goodbye to it while you stand on sand that's quick to change and be blown away

Stand on something worthy

Honest 

Love

Stand on that raw emotion of Love

The Love the one the guy who came down forty some generations talked about

The Love that built this world 

Stand on that instead of some over processed garbage that we imagine for ourselves 

Stand

This Year

So this is it?
This year has come and went
Now we stand in reflection of how our 2015 year was spent or not
So we can say we lived it well while others cannot
Do we make resolutions for next year?
Do we fit in with the rest or not?
That's a question for sure
Somehow this year was lost to me, with remnants of 2014 still bleeding through it
And I barely making it through it
But 2016 is another time to see
To see if I'll continue on with the same me or be a new me
I don't know if I believe in the "New Year, New Me" thing, I don't think I do
But I believe in goal setting for everyday, to pray my way through
To inspire some, gain a friend or two, and more than just survive and make it through
I want to live, love, and live some more 
I've missed out on this year and won't get a second chance
So I'll be looking forward instead of looking back

        Had to get one more poem in before the end of the year.
        Anyway, it's the last day's of the year and like I said  reflection time is here. For many people they will see this year as great, awesome while others will reflect on losing and missing out. So for those people who missed out what do we do? Do we dwell in that mindset? Do we let the past ill effect our future or what? I'll admit that for me living in the past is comfortable and coming outside of that is scary, and it feels kind of sketchy. But that's a part of it I guess? Just like the people who are sucky people in this world they play their part by making the good people fight for what's right and true, the protagonist, antagonist thing. 
        The typical resolutions usually start to fail around June, that's six months deep and we've been beat down enough to fully abandon our goals and return to our comfort zone. So family makes us, jobs make us, the guy who cut me off in traffic made me back track, no, no, no. YOU! YOU! MADE YOU DO THAT! ME, ME ME! We look for justification in all of our situations, it's just human nature to justify our irrational actions with whatever makes us feel good, but it shouldn't. We have to take responsibility for ourselves, whether that be mentally or physically. Like the effect of a positive mind can combat bitterness and depression, but too often we sink to the level of how we feel in that moment rather than the overall outcome of our actions during that moment. It's the aftereffect. After we cool down and are able to "get out of our feelings" we see things in a rational manner and are embarrassed by how we acted initially, but human nature is like that, fickle. When we resolve to change and set goals we want to shoot for the stars instead of just starting small. 
        So start small. If we want to be more positive we have to actively self talk ourselves out of our negative thoughts and into the positive ones. It's hard, I'm pessimistic, sarcastic and cynical so I know how hard it is see things realistically and as horrible as they are and still have a positive outlook. But when all things that we can see fail us we still have ourselves. So if myself has a negative mindset when all else around me fails I'm still left with negativity, which sucks. So as this year goes out and next year enters in mindfulness will be my goal, and I hope you choose a goal as well and have a blessed new year.

RIP Christmas

Yes Christmas is dead. 

It's sad but true because the true meaning of it is gone.

Most people are currently rushing around stressed trying to find gifts for people that they barely care about, visit or love during the entire year but so they are not singled out by society as being a "Scrooge" they force themselves to conform to what they're told is right. I used to be one of them, stressing myself out, agonizing over not having the money to get the best for my loved ones or risking leaving someone out, even purchasing coworkers whose characters I do not care for gifts, but now I don't. I finished my Christmas shopping before the end of November and my list was very short not because most of my family members who would have received a gift are deceased(have to throw in my morbid humor lol) but because I was organized and honest with my list and my gifts. Working in retail has allowed me to be on the front line of crazed shoppers who are stressed, depressed, and zombies(shout out to the customer who said he had walked the mall for four hours, come into my store twice and given up on finding his girlfriend anything else other than a Nike shirt because now he feels "numb and zombie like."). Let's take yesterday and my first customer who was angry because I couldn't help her find a coupon and said she was going to call and complain on me for it(shout out to you preggers, I deemed this one of your moments of emotional rushes because even your husband left you in the store tired of you bickering at him to go and find peace from your annoying self  look in another store). While she was upset over a coupon one of my final customers was not concerned with Christmas gifts, you know why? BECAUSE HER MOTHER WAS DYING IN A HOSPITAL AND SHE AND HER FAMILY KNEW THIS WAS HER FINAL CHRISTMAS! Yes something to worry about, a truth, people and the quality of time with which we spend with them builds memories and those memories can't be lost, burned or stolen. So I hope the stuff that can be lost, burned or stolen is enough. I'll take being home with my family with no tree no gifts no nothing but watching Charlie Brown's Christmas on TV with them and building those memories over anything.

Ode To Black Friday

        While back in the day Thanksgiving was an all day preparation situation with mom, grandma, aunts communing in the kitchen making there famous pies and dishes. Times have changed. I don't know when this happened but it had to have been subtle. Now on Thanksgiving people are plotting not what will be prepared or what football game will be watched but what the opening times are of their favorite stores and shopping malls. So you'll spend time plotting out every part of your Satan Hell Black Friday schemes and every Starbucks in route between each store your going too. For what? Sure the excitement of the Christmas season, or having your family around to help save a spot in that long line, or get over on the one item per person situation by having little Sarah purchase the Xbox One. It's a very different time, one where stuff is more important than family, and hours are wasted on planning for an event that really isn't as deal stealing as these stores fool you to believe. But to the people who have to work and see and deal with the people who are shopping it's not as much of a nightmare as it is laughable. Well to me anyways. So I've decided to list some of the peeves that my coworkers and I find to be common among consumers during Satan Hell Black Friday.

Rule 1: Do not ask the employees if they're any more discounts you can get? 

Why: It makes you look more cheap(you already look cheap in your dingy white shirt, Cookie Monster pajama pants, slipper and head wrap) When the majority of the store is reduced why be greedy? And honestly it's not our priority to do your couponing for you. But will be happy to show you where all the best deals are in the store, as long as you do not ignore our forced greeting of you when you enter our store. (The one's who ignore retail workers when we greet them somehow are the main one's who have questions.)

Rule 2: Do not tell the employees that you fee for them having to work on Thanksgiving.  

Why: Obviously this question is my biggest pet peeve. You're here shopping, technically I'm working on Thanksgiving BECAUSE OF YOU. If you didn't shop we would be closed so don't chastise me with you fake concern. In the words of Marshawn Lynch "You know why I'm here."

Rule 3: Looking is fine, but if you're a touchy person put your hands in your pockets. 

Why: More often than not people are more so looking at what sales are going on and aren't looking to buy. Not buying is great but touching everything and messing it up I believe should require a fee. The thanks for messing up the store but not buying anything fee. 

Rule 4: Do not get high on impulses

Why: Shopping can be addictive anything can be. But watching other people spend ridiculous amounts of money on stuff can pull the most greatest of followers to spend as well. Look don't be a follower, think before you spend frivolously. (Pay your bills first, don't be that type of refund person who has to because the light, water, and electricity bills are due and you spent too much on stuff)

Rule 5: Do not bring your kids with you. And don't get mad at your kids for being a kid. 

Why: In the beginning of the Black Friday excitement kids will promise to be behaved and full of energy but after about 2 hours in they'll be tired and whiny. You can't fault the child for being a child, there little bodies aren't prepared for this, they require naps and breaks and snacks. So don't expect them to be able to go from 6pm - midnight. (If you must bring your children make sure your stocked up and well prepared)

The last and final rule is the most important of all
Rule 6: Be safe, be smart.
Why: Stuff..........is not worth your life or the lives of others. We are in very different times, and they're somewhat destructive and it's well planned destruction, so please be safe with all the chaos that will be going on from the roadways, stores, security is there to keep you safe, so keep a level head, and the smart. 

Have fun on Black Friday for those of you going out for it, as for me I'll work my shift and head on home and spend time with my family.

I Can't See

I don't see that

I don't see what you see

This debate is fake on your half if you say you believe in what I do

How can that be true?

I'm not going to take a place atop a tower and cast shame downwards because that's not my place, it seems to be yours

I don't see that

I don't see where it says hate and separation is justified 

What faith is that?

I don't see confusion 

I see it clear I don't care about what color your skin is but how you treat me and how you care 

I don't say that you're wrong, the opinion is yours

But I'm left believing your closed mindedness has left you ignorant and safe inside your glass house

I hope you cherish your safety because I can't imagine you surviving this world without it

But I don't see love in your view

I may be bitter at times, that's rectifiable 

But your justified ignorance is not 

It may have been a while ago but it's not now

It's sad, very sad that you call yourself by the name of his people but lack the intelligence to know your faith is fake

You can't mix faith with hate

So don't ask me how I love a friend, who is a strong woman and loves a strong woman. Don't come to me questioning why an interracial couple would chose to have a child together, and that that child will grow up confused by what they are

Because I don't see what you see

Neither of our generations have witnessed the significant divide from our past so I don't play those cards

But I do play the card of being a child of his, knowing his view is nothing like what you see, nothing like the racial poisoning that you project and respect 

All I can do is pray, pray for the veil to be lifted off your eyes and pray that your offspring will not be ill effected by you 

I pray that he or she learns to just love, without conditions, learn that love is an international means of communication and it's more than just the color of your skin

When Did This Become Okay?

I don't know man, but these kids are growing up to be real mean little people. 

I've recently heard stories from and personally experienced kids acting out with a level of douchebaggery that they should not have acquired yet. A kid should not call his parents or guardians stupid or idiots and belittle other kids. Case and point I was giving out Halloween candy and little Elsa (toddler)and Ironman( 5-6) come up to get candy, Elsa starts to try to get her piece of candy out of the box, I had to lean down so she could reach it but before she could get any candy, Ironman pushes her back and gets her candy grumbling that she needs to hurry up and she was stupid for being slow all the time. Parents? Oh no correction from you because you're on your cellphone? Okay so little true to character douchebag Ironman is cool to do this? 

Okay?

Little Elsa got to get extra candy this time on her own while little true to character Ironman trudged into the next house

Second occurrence, at work a little girl (9-10, old enough to get slapped)and her grandmother were shopping and were  ready to check out so I did my thing and gave her grandmother her total. After 5 minutes of digging through her purse for her misplaced debit card she retrieved it and goes to hand it to me. Keep in mind the little girl was standing there impatiently playing with her huge Brandy braids, she snatched the card out of her grandmothers hand and swiped it on the machine. 

Really are you for real? Are you serious right now?

Rude, rude, rude little brat, she's here buying your ungrateful behind stuff and you want to snatch and ---I had to take a moment of silence for her behavior or to take my hands off of my belt or to rethink grabbing "Brandy" over the counter and giving her an over the knee experience. 

Where did this become okay?